#98 Be Pink

Sometimes, I think the world is out to get me. A dark cloud hovers above my head, threatening an unexpected down-pour at any time. I feel like nothing works, no-one cares, and things are just too hard.

I was in this state the other day, all curled up in bed in my fluffy pink dressing gown. My partner came over and sat on the bed, staring at me for awhile. He asked me, ‘What’s wrong?’. I replied with, ‘Everything’s wrong! I’m going to let my sister down by not going on the holiday we’ve planned and can’t tell her because she’ll be so upset with me, I snapped at Mum the other day and haven’t apologised, I’m late on a deadline and my client is going to be furious with me …’ I sigh. ‘Everything is black and miserable.’

‘Hmm, I see,’ he said nodding. ‘Everything is black.’ We both sat silently a little longer in the cloud of my misery.

Then suddenly he pushed back the fold of fluffy pink dressing gown covering my face, and said – ‘How about we make everything pink?’

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#97 Be Respectful

Have you ever noticed how the closer you are to someone, the harder it is to be respectful?

We’re polite to strangers, and new friends – remembering our manners and not interrupting when they speak. We acknowledge and pay heed to their boundaries. We respect others opinions when shared at dinner parties.

But the people close to us – our mothers, partners, siblings, best friends … they get the sharp side of our tongues. They get questioned, accused, smothered, coerced. We tell them that they’re wrong. We don’t give them enough space. We sigh and roll our eyes when they tell the same old story for the hundredth time.

Respect comes from the understanding that others are separate from you.

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#95 Be Personal

You know that feeling when you can’t speak to a real person? Machines greet you, automated voices tell you, ‘Sorry, that ____ is not valid, please try again’, and dealing with big companies feels like trying to hack your way through an overgrown forest of paperwork and red tape with a blunt pencil.

Our huge, technologically connected world can sometimes be very lonely. We’re cut off from our food and how it ends up in pretty packages at the supermarket, sectioned away from nature into identical apartments, and even our friends give the little blip sounds on their phone priority over us.

Today, more than ever, it matters to be personal.

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#93 Be an Experience-Creator

I’ll always remember my friend Jessica’s 9th birthday. Her Mum had planned a treasure-hunt extravaganza. Not just clues, but clues on authentic looking scrolls with burnt edges. We had a REAL pirate map she’d handmade which looked like it had come straight from Johnny Depp’s hands. There were parrots hidden cunningly in the trees. And finally, after solving all the challenging, rhyming riddles, we had to actually dig up the treasure with a spade from under the X-marked spot!

Jessica’s Mum understood that you can put on a kid’s birthday with lollies and musical chairs, or you can be an experience-creator.

This applies to more than just kid’s parties.

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#92 Be Low Maintenance

When I hear the phrase ‘high maintenance’, my mind generates an image of a perfectly groomed girl in a miniskirt, walking along in Jimmy Choo heels, toting a Gucci handbag with her obliging boyfriend meekly in tow.

But being low maintenance means more than just not requiring label clothes and feeling ok without a weekly manicure.

I like to think of it as needing less. In many senses of the word.

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#91 Be an Artist

I didn’t like art day in homeschool group.

My lines were all wobbly. My noses looked like carrots. My stick people didn’t do what I wanted them to.

So I wrote myself off as an artist, and decided I’d be a writer instead. Words were much easier to work with.

It’s only very recently that I’ve realised I can be an artist. And so can you. We don’t have to sketch incredibly life-like portraits, paint awe-inspiring landscapes, or form perfect pottery bowls.

All we have to do is express ourselves.

Can you fingerpaint?

You’re an artist.

Can you stick colourful squares on paper?

You’re an artist.

Can you decorate a cake?

You’re an artist. 

Can you handwrite a quote in bold pen, and draw pretty squiggles around the border?

You’re an artist.

Can you make a strange yet wondrous sculpture out of recycled things you found in the garage?

You’re an artist.

It’s time we move past our mental blocks of ‘I can’t paint’, ‘I can’t draw’, ‘I’ve never been good at art’, and just start using our creativity, in whatever form it takes.

Here’s some guidelines from Sark:

sark-how-to-be-an-artist

Be an Artist. 

#90 Be Selective

There was a time when I said yes to just about anything – new friends, new opportunities, new clients, new places, new events, new causes to give money to or volunteer for …

It was fun. I learnt a lot, experienced things I wouldn’t have otherwise, ended up with heaps of people in my circle, plenty of work to do – but eventually, it all becomes a bit much.

Racing to a different social event every night, trying to remember all the birthdays, babies, and things going on in your friends lives, working late to make sure your clients are happy … it’s a recipe for exhaustion.

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#89 Be a Self-starter

Part of us is secretly waiting to be discovered.

We’re waiting for our big break – a gracious benefactor to spot our innate talent and sponsor further study, our boss to finally recognise all that hard work and grant a promotion, a venture capitalist to be wowed by our business nous over dinner and back the idea that we’ve been talking about for years.

But it just doesn’t seem to happen. 

The talent scout passes us over, the promotion never comes, the wealthy investor isn’t conveniently seated beside us at the networking event.

We wonder why. We shake our heads. We stick our ideas in the bottom drawer along with lumps of blu-tack, broken bulldog clips and dusty photoframes.

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