I’ve been facing some interesting situations lately. Situations that have made me question myself, question my motives, and wonder if I’m really doing the right thing. But I’ve realised something – those questions aren’t coming from deep inside me. They’ve been planted there by others. By my need to seek out other people’s approval to justify my own decision-making processes.
And you know what? That’s bull.
All my life I’ve wanted to make other people happy. I like supporting, I like encouraging, I like giving, and I like helping others succeed. Those are all good things. And I think we’re all like that to some degree – it takes a pretty narcissistic person to not want appreciation and approval.
But it becomes a problem when these traits are taken so far that you hand over your power to others – giving them the authority to tell you whether or not you’re good enough. To tell you what your own motives are, tell you that you’re responsible for how successful or not they end up being.
At the end of the day, your assurance should come from within. From your knowledge of who you really are, how you operate, what values guide your decision-making and actions. If you know inside yourself that you’re doing the right thing, then you are. Another person’s idea of how your reality ‘is’ or ‘should be’ is not how it has to be – you’ve got your own perspective, and that’s the one you’ve got to trust if you’ve ever going to create the reality you want.
Because in the morning, you’re the one waking up with yourself. Looking at yourself in the mirror. Alone throughout the day with the thoughts in your head. Other people will never be as close to you as you are to yourself – so allow your assurance to come from your internal rather than external sources.