#74 Be Vulnerable

by | May 26, 2013 | BE ______

Many of us try to avoid being hurt emotionally or physically. Avoiding saying “I love you” first, because of the fear that we’ll be rejected and hurt. Not voicing creative ideas in business meetings because of the fear of being ridiculed by your colleagues. Not inviting the cool kids to the party, because of the fear you’re not cool enough for them to care about coming. Telling your friends you have it all sorted and know what you’re doing next with your life, when in fact you’re a bit lost and looking for new directions. Getting all defensive and closed off when your spouse challenges you, because you don’t want to be perceived as weak and imperfect. Shunning taking charge and being responsible, because of the fear you might fail. The ways we shut ourselves off from vulnerability are countless. I’ve just re-watched my favorite Ted Talk where Brené Brown reveals the results of a decade of research on vulnerability. She tells us that accepting vulnerability is the key to feeling worthy of connection with other people. We need to let down our barriers and tell our true story with our whole hearts if we want to be loved and deeply connected with others. When we embrace the risk of being rejected, ridiculed, heart-broken or hurt, we practice our courage. We will push forward despite our fears being hurt and act with kindness for ourselves first, then kindness for others. We will act with authenticity in order to be who we really are and let go of who we want to be. Brené tells us that when we fully embrace vulnerability with courage,...

#73 Be Gritty

by | May 18, 2013 | BE ______

I watched a fascinating Ted Talk recently from teacher and psychologist  Angela Lee Duckworth. There she outlined what separates a successful student who is able to achieve, from another who can’t quite hit their potential. It turned out that studies have proven it isn’t IQ level, family income/home situation, race, gender … it all comes down to one […]

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I watched a fascinating Ted Talk recently from teacher and psychologist  Angela Lee Duckworth. There she outlined what separates a successful student who is able to achieve, from another who can’t quite hit their potential. It turned out that studies have proven it isn’t IQ level, family income/home situation, race, gender … it all comes down to one little, not often-mentioned quality – grit.  Gritty students are determined to achieve, and so they do. Same with people in corporate jobs, pilots-in-training … no matter what we set out to do, if we have a decent dash of grit in the mix, then we are much more likely to reach our goals. So what is grit? It’s stickability. Pressing on when the going is tough and everyone else is gone. It’s determination to keep on track, keep reaching toward the outcome we want to achieve. If you think about grit in a material sense, it’s kind of rough. It’s got character. You can’t just wash it away and smooth it over without effort – it’s tough and it ain’t budging. I admire people with grit.  I like their oomph, their get-up-and-go. I think we want to follow people who have got grit, leaders who stick in there and see things through. Grit doesn’t just show up in your life though. You can’t buy it at the corner store and add it to your character. You’ve got to build it in daily, through proving to yourself that you do have the willpower to make things happen and stay true to your decisions. Start with small things. Keep those little promises to yourself, don’t quit before the...